“When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day”
― Sam Ewing
This quote makes me laugh out loud…or LOL, as the kids say (geez…I’m old).
Today is the 1 day of the year when we are to celebrate moms. They are the people who literally bring us into the world…givers of life. They are usually the first to wipe our asses, wipe our tears, clean up all our messes, and then eventually teach us to do these things for ourselves.
Looking back, I don’t know how good of a job I did to celebrate my own mom. I probably made cards or crappy gifts, but I don’t recall it being a big to-do in our home. My memory is shit though, so hopefully I’m just misremembering. My mom would probably say that I’m misremembering, but that’s because she is too nice to say that we were self-centered assholes (to our faces, at least).
Because I’m surrounded by amazing mamas, I know that too often this day is a disappointment. I hear so many stories and they can all be summed up by this:
We don’t feel special. We don’t feel thought of or appreciated. We hope for a magical or, at the very least, semi-planned day.
Year after year, we feel let down by it all. Our feelings are hurt because it wasn’t what we expected it to be.
There are tons of places where you can read about the mental load that mother’s carry and so we hope that on this one day…JUST FOR TODAY…that we won’t have to plan & help execute the day to celebrate ourselves.
I’m going to propose a radical idea.
Ask for what your want and BE SPECIFIC…I know this loosely falls under “planning our day” but hear me out…
Even though my family has always had cards, flowers, and gifts for me, I’m often left feeling underappreciated. I’ve struggled with this and found myself feeling all the things from anger to sadness to guilt.
This year, I decided to go a different direction. I actually told my husband what I wanted and I was very specific:
let me sleep in. anything past 7am is considered a win.
make breakfast tacos & please do so before 10am so I don’t get hangry. PS: clean up your kitchen mess…
no obligatory gifts that feel forced. I can tell when you went out the night before & panic shopped.
if you must gift me something, a gift of experience is preferred. A massage, pedicure, or even a couple of hours alone would be delightful. Bonus: that last one doesn’t cost a thing!
So far he has stayed the course. I slept in and then I had delicious breakfast tacos. I got a few handmade cards and a beautiful handmade gift from Oliver (a ceramic replica of our home), and a gift card for a spa day.
And now all 3 of them are leaving the house…
To all the mamas, caregivers, and aunties out there…may you feel appreciated and loved today and ALL THE DAYS ❤️