but not the kind you celebrate, really.
it's been 1 year since I sat in a hospital room, beside my granny, and watched her sleep. it's been 1 year since I sat in that room, letting my grandfather tell me how lucky he was to have had her in his life for 70+ years. it's been 1 year since I reminded him that she was pretty lucky, too. it's been 1 year since I watched him cry and talk to her, knowing she would not be able to talk back. it's been 1 year since I cried with and for him. it's been 1 year since we said goodbye to her.
time doesn't stop for us to try and gather our thoughts, make sense of things, or grieve. we still need to show up for our life. our children still need us to do all the things they needed "before"...wipe noses, butts, and all the other messes that kids, and life, bring.
that's all we have to do: show up. be present. do our best. be our best.
life will keep moving forward, with or without you.
some days are great. some days suck. but everyday is another chance to show up, be present, do our best, and be our best.
i don't miss her any less today than i did a year ago. it's not easier. i think about her often, but i think about my grandfather the most.
as devastating as her death has been for him, he shows up.
everyday.